He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I could fuck to npr.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
