In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
