Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
