I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
