thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
