dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
