What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
