I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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