New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
