Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
