i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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