Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize