I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
