I'm really into asian looking animals
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
