it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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