Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
