Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
