The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
