At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
