In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
