I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
whose parrot is this?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
