I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
