margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
where am i from again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
