there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
