It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
