I think my fart just growled at me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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