he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
