sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize