Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
