who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
