Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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