I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
