There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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