I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
