I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
