So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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