so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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