Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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