"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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