So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
