i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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