Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize