Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
