I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
