so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
