He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This toilet bowl is my home.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
