You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
