"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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