The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
