I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
