You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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