She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
