I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
