we have officially lost it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
