how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
