lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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