i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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