I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
