what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
