I just pynch a tree in the face
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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