I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
