the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
