Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
