Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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