that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
