Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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