the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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