What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
