I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
