I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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