I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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