The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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