when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
