The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
wow bdsm is so cute
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
